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Joke of the Day

"how do you catch a unique cat? unique up on it. (im sorry)"

"There are some benefits to having alzheimers For example, you get to meet new people constantly."

"What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A quarter-pounder with cheese."

"How do you call the guy who immigrates to Saudi Arabia? Wannabee Wahhabi."

"Why did the Stormtrooper buy an iPhone? He couldn't find the droid he was looking for."

"Me: time for bed Brain: yeah I'm tired too M: really? wow we may actually get some slee- B: hey do you think anyone's died in this house?"

"Girl wins a watch ""Mom, the old man down the street told me that if I sucked his dick he'd give me THIS WATCH!"""

"Why was Lindsay Lohan feeling sleepy? He was buying drinks."

"What's the difference between a baby and a washing machine? A washing machine doesn't cry when you put a load into it. #bigsorry"

"I only have Facebook to keep track of where everyone I know is going to be, so I don't show up there."