17891

Joke of the Day

"Things were different in the 80s one time I was kidnapped for a week and no one looked for me. I came home & my room was converted to a gym."

Next Joke
 
"Petulant: (defn.) a cat or dog you let a friend borrow"
"I missed the lunar eclipse, but I've seen shadows before, so I get how awestruck everyone was."
"Steve-""My wife is a very careful driver"". Smith-""How do you know that""? Steave-""She Always Slows down when passing a red light""!"
"ME: hey baby HOT GIRL: ME: HOT GIRL: ME: HOT GIRL: ME: *looks closer* HOT GRILL: ME: oh"
"I thought my wife was super pissed at me, but it turns out she was only ""disappointed"" in me. Thank God, I definitely dodged a bullet there"
"My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn't concentrate."
"Q: Do you know about the book about copyright infringement? A: It had legal binding."
"If cancer is ever cured it'll probably be because of the people who liked all of the Facebook statuses that are against cancer."
"I know exactly how President Obama feels. Every time my kids are forced to listen to me, they make angry Republican faces."