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Joke of the Day

"If cancer is ever cured it'll probably be because of the people who liked all of the Facebook statuses that are against cancer."

"The woman who injected her 8-year old with Botox for beauty pageants has lost custody... The child didn't look surprised..."

"LPT: If you're trying to get over a crush just imagine them taking the wettest dump ever. Unless, of course, you're into that kind of shit."

"So earlier I held the door for an Asian guy... He said ""Sank you"" ...so I punched him. I couldn't believe he brought up Pearl Harbor like that."

"Don't you hate it when you're so high on drugs that simple, everyday, mundane tasks become difficult? Anyway, I pissed on your sofa."

"If i had $1 for every time i got called beautiful.. I'd have $1. Thanks mom."

"Pal: my advice for your date is, make her think you're well travelled, girls love it! Later Me: Guess how many buses it took me to get here"

"Establish your dominance with the drive-thru attendant by saying, ""That completes my order"" before they ask."

"My friend told me about a wonder food that he discovered that contains protein, fiber, and good fats That's nuts, I told him"

"What did the bull say after sleeping with a transexual cow? ""That was no Miss Steak!"""