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Joke of the Day

"[standing at the hospital nursery window with other new parents] ME: this zoo is terrible"

"90% of Men in Chicago have had shower sex The other 10% have never been to prison."

"What do you call getting high and having sex? A kush and push."

"Why did the blind lady fall into a well? She didn't see that well."

"If you play the ""Strawberry Fields Forever"" record backwards, you can quietly hear your roommate saying, ""Get a job, Megan."""

"If you don't know what an prefix is, don't worry. It's not the end of the word."

"What's the difference between a porcupine and a Mercedes Benz? The porcupine's pricks are on the outside."

"I tried to be a gentleman to this pretty lady, so I held the door open for her... But she just screamed at me as she got sucked out of the plane! Women are so ungrateful for nice guys nowadays."

"Why doesn't Ronald Reagan drink orange juice? Because he's dead."

"What did the tampon say to the other? Nothing; they were both stuck up cunts!"