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Joke of the Day

"I tried to be a gentleman to this pretty lady, so I held the door open for her... But she just screamed at me as she got sucked out of the plane! Women are so ungrateful for nice guys nowadays."

Next Joke
 
"Always thought my Chinese neighbor was super religious... Turns out he was just playing all the time. Just came up with this. I'll show myself out."
"Oh no! An Xbox One and PS4 just had a head on collision... CALL AN AMBULANCE! WiiU WiiU WiiU WiiU WiiU"
"What do you call it when thieves in a metal boat steal your fool's gold? Iron Pirate"
"Why did Raekwon tha Chef get fired from his job at an oyster bar? Cuz Wu Tang Clan got nuttin' to shuck with."
"[at a bar] me: hey girl are u a wanted criminal girl: no me: oh ok [to a group of cops] shes not here, search the other building"
"My girlfriend called me a peadophile the other day I said 'that's a big word for a 6 year old'"
"Why did god give Women legs? So they didn't leave slug trails. My father told me that when I was 8 years old."
"I would rather that you'd just paid some of my bills, but thanks for this combination rubik's cube/pepper grinder."
"Man hospitalized with 6 plastic horses up his ass Doctors describe his condition as stable"