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Joke of the Day
"Boy, Peter Parker is lucky he was bitten by a spider and not one of those fainting goats."
Next Joke
"It's 2012, aka the future. Don't ask me to print shit out, sign, scan, fax, etc. You're not the CIA. Dial it down, Patty Printsalot."
"Your Joke Is Factually Incorrect - A Guide to Dying Alone."
"I am trying to get some help for my PTSD... But it always seems to be one flash forward and then two flashbacks."
"what fabric softener do Special Ed kids use? Downy"
"My wife has just got a job at the local sewage works. I reckon she will be the best shit stirrer they have ever had."
"What's Blue and not heavy? Light Blue."
"Cashier: haha that's a lotta candy, getting ready for Halloween early eh Me:... Cashier:... Me:... Cashier:... Me: yep"
"My phone won't let me be depressed. It autocorrected :( to :)"
"What's slimy, green, and smells like bacon? Kermits finger."