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Joke of the Day

"My phone won't let me be depressed. It autocorrected :( to :)"

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"How did one pothead greet the other? High"
"My dog just fell off the bed. I'm glad I'm not the only one drunk around here."
"What's every spider's dream job? A web designer."
"Apparently, saying ""make it a double"" followed by an awkward wink doesn't work at the pharmacy."
"How many men does it take to change a lightbulb? Not all men."
"Happy Groundhog Day everybody!!! So put your little hand in mine and there ain't no hill or mountain we can't climb..."
"I tried out to be a porn actor today, I was told I was under-qualified."
"What's the difference between you and a calendar? A calendar has dates..."
"How many Americans does it take to change a bulb? None, Mexicans do it for them."