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Joke of the Day

"It's 2012, aka the future. Don't ask me to print shit out, sign, scan, fax, etc. You're not the CIA. Dial it down, Patty Printsalot."

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"Why is a dance like a bowl of cereal? They are both more enjoyable with dates!"
"What's a desert's favorite song? Darude-Sandstorm"
"Forget about sexy, I am bringing good manners back!"
"My doctor just gave me some good news about my prostate.... ...He gave me the thumbs up"
"Me: *braids girl's hair* Girl: *turns around, terrified* Me: The movie was boring me... *leans back in seat* *eats popcorn*"
"*takes a picture of food for Instagram* Food: delete it"
"Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? It didn't want to get stuck in any cracks."
"What did the hippie say when you told him to leave your house? Namaste"
"Q: What algorithm did Intel use in the Pentium's floating point divider? A: ""Life is like a box of chocolates..."" (Source: F. Gump of Intel)"