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Joke of the Day

"Cashier: haha that's a lotta candy, getting ready for Halloween early eh Me:... Cashier:... Me:... Cashier:... Me: yep"

"Ask Me If I'm A Tomato"

"Him: It should be illegal for white people to wear dreads. Me: Are you Italian, my brother? Him: No. Me: Then no more pizza for you."

"How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. They hold it in place and wait for the world to revolve around them."

"Every one knows about Elvis Everyone knows about Elvis the Pelvis. Less is known about his brother Inis."

"Women are like ice cream.. They're cold at first, if you keep them warm they melt, then they get fucking sticky."

"I put the p in pants."

"Anyone know any kid-friendly jokes about burgers? Extra points if it can be about a burger monster (don't ask)."

"I wonder how many calories you burn locking yourself out and having to climb in through a second story window.??"

"What do you get when you drop a piano down a mineshaft? A flat miner."