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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are a dollar fifty but deer nuts are under a buck."

"What does a chemist say when he needs someone to pass the salt? ""Please pass the salt."""

"What has 2 legs and bleeds profusely? Half a cat"

"""The Spoon"" Patient: Doctor, I have a pain in my eye whenever I drink tea. . Doctor: Take the spoon out of the mug before you drink."

"Why did the students eat their homework? Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake."

"I had a crazy dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram. I was like, 0mg!"

"I got invited to my first HS party... ten years too late, fuck you all i'm not going to the reunion, get bent."

"Grandma Got Ran Over by a Reindeer is my favorite song about how to incorrectly deal with the loss of a loved one during the holiday"

"Why did the French chef kill himself? He lost the huile d'olive."

"Ate way too much..I'm gonna go to Africa and throw up everything I just ate for all the starving children..yes I do have a generous side."