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Joke of the Day

"Why did the French chef kill himself? He lost the huile d'olive."

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"When a cow laughs..... does milk come out of her nose?"
"How do you improve public transportation in Ferguson, MI? Move the trees closer together."
"""Fine, I'm sorry, you win, just, please stop crying."" - my rap battle opponent"
"I was once stoned in Memphis And I entered this weird contest where you had to walk on famous Jessicas. I was walking with my feet 10 ft off a Beal."
"Just finished charging my iPhone. Lets see how long the battery la"
"My husband wants me to stop working on my flamingo impression. I had to put my foot down."
"Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is!"
"Never have sex after getting a concussion. It's fucking confusing."
"If you buy a house off Craig's List, it comes with a free serial killer."