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Joke of the Day

"Photographers never like it when a camera can't take pictures. They shutter at the thought."

"""Shut the door, drop your pants, and get on top of me."" -My toilet"

"What's the difference between a lentil and a chick pea? I've never paid money to have a lentil on my face."

"Anyone have any sex laying around they're not using I could borrow?"

"without a doubt my least favourite thing about being alive is having a body, hate taking care of this hunk of shit"

"Microwaves don't need to give warning beeps after cooking the food - the last thing I'm going to do is forget I just made pizza rolls."

"I've always stood up for black people. It's not worth getting stabbed over a seat."

"Why are Cal Tech and MIT constantly Fighting? Because MIT blames Cal Tech for stealing their Feynman, and there will never be another man as Fine."

"What does Lamar Odom have in common with a hooker? Excellent ball control."

"My X made the worst coffee. I thought it was grounds for divorce."