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Joke of the Day
"I like my coffee like I like my women... lightly roasted for that full bodied flavor."
Next Joke
"As I approach 50, my wife suggested I get myself one of those high performance penis enlargers... So I have. She's 25 and her name is Candy."
"A man walks into a bar *ouch*"
"[on a speed date] USUALLY I PREFER COCAINE BUT WOW"
"I feel sorry for men who don't know how to value women. One look at a woman and I KNOW how much she will cost me."
"I eat my pizza with a knife and fork because I am from a big family, and you need weapons to protect your food at all times"
"I like short jokes."
"What is the most painful Russian dance? Tchaikovsky's *The Nutcracker*."
"What do you get for the man who has everything? Penicillin"
"TRAIN TIP: A few minutes before the train arrives at your destination, get up and crowd around the exit so you can wait faster."