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Joke of the Day

"Einstein quietly lays in bed next to a obviously disappointed partner.. After a few minutes of awkward silence he turns to her and says, ""You see, it was fast to you..."""

"My friend eats Dead People but it's okay because he's a Fungi"

"I picked up an ice cream cake & the cashier said keep it in the freezer until serving so it doesn't melt. I've got to start dressing smarter"

"How do you make the hippie run out of money? You hide daddies credit card under a bar of soap."

"Documentaries not only expand my world views, but also compel me to change my behavior for a solid 24-36 hours."

"What do you call a fortune teller that always predicts happiness for her clients? A hooker with a gimmick"

"England and Ethiopia recently played each other in a football match After a tough match, with both opponents clashing, the scoreline ended in English 8 - Ethiopia Didn't"

"I overheard a dad at Starbucks tell a kid not to tell Mom he got a cake pop for breakfast, so I guess I'm part of their web of lies now too."

"Son: "" Mom, am I ... ugly? "" Mother: "" I told you not to call me Mom in public, now stay away further. """

"me: [seductively ignores and stays away from you to let you know i'm into you]"