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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a fortune teller that always predicts happiness for her clients? A hooker with a gimmick"

"If I were a werewolf I wouldn't have to chain myself up at night because I don't like going out anyway."

"What does a gang member do when he arrives at work first thing in the morning? He Glocks in"

"Stranger:So,you're a parent? Me: Yes,proud dad of a 5yo w/ special needs S:cool, I'm sort of a parent too, 2 dogs and a cat Me:.... Nope"

"Q: What's black white and read all over? A: A newspaper."

"What's the difference between Sarah Palin's mouth and her vagina? Only occasionally does something retarded come out of her vagina."

"Why did the hotel manager refuse to rent his rooms out to people? He needed places to hide the bodies."

"I can build and fix small engines using only vomit, feces and rotted animals. Due to my gross motor skills."

"Frankenstein: Help I've got a short circuit! Igor: Don't worry I'll lengthen it."

"Justin and Selena broke up? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOObody cares."