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Joke of the Day

"Yo momma's so fat, she uses the Large Hadron Collider as a hula hoop."

"The grammar teacher said ""In English, two negatives make an affirmative, but two affirmatives never make a negative."" A student replied... ""Yeah, right!"""

"I'm going to a notable restaurant tonight. I'm excited, but I don't know where I'll put my plate."

"Australians don't have sex. They mate."

"How do you drown a hipster? Drag him into the mainstream."

"The neighborhood is having a meeting tonight about the creepy guy & I'm the only one not invited. Weird."

"I've counted 8 people so far whose New Years resolutions include ""loose weight"". Can I add spelling to your list too?"

"What would you call a very funny mountain? Hill Arious!"

"What is a runner's favourite subject in school? Jog-raphy!"

"Why do terrorists hate wine? Because there are too many zinfandel's."