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Joke of the Day

"The neighborhood is having a meeting tonight about the creepy guy & I'm the only one not invited. Weird."

"I bet it really confuses poor Forrest Gump to see Lt. Dan on TV solving crimes in New York."

"Leprosy joke What did the leper say to the hooker after they had sex? Keep the tip."

"People who say everything happens for a reason should remember that when I punch them in the face."

"What do you do when your girlfriend starts smoking? You slow down and use lube ( )"

"Twitter is a good place to meet men. The odds are good but the goods are odd."

"TIL Tim Gibbons, a reclusive gastroenterologist, has the only fart preserved in a jar on record since 1983... *owner of a lonely fart*"

"The NBA is like a box of crayons... they don't use the white ones."

"My employees forgot about Cyber Monday. I won't rub it in. They look embarrassed enough when I walk by in my RoboCop suit."

"I was given a load of plasticine for Christmas... I'm not sure what to make of it."