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Joke of the Day

"There was a man who said... ... ""I never knew what happiness was until I got married...and then it was too late."""

"Can't wait until phones become waterproof so pushing people in pools becomes funny again."

"Why doesn't a chicken wear pants? Because its pecker is on its head. (Get the reference?)"

"There are two types of people in the world... Those who can read between the lines."

"Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?"

"What's the best fantasy book? A bible"

"*notices wife has 5 asparagus on her plate while I only have 4* everything ok? ""fine"" [hour later during car ride home] you're speeding"

"My girlfriends 2 year old nephew loves trucks. His first word was truck. He points at every truck he sees and talks about trucks in his sleep. I guess you could day he's semi crazy"

"I'm participating in a 0.25K run to raise awareness for people with attention deficit disorder."

"What's the deal with airline food? Buy 2 get 1 free"