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Joke of the Day

"Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?"

"Classic knock knock joke nsfw Knock knock Who's there? Argo Argo who Argo fuck yourself!"

"I HATE when people use song lyrics as their status! It makes. me wanna SHOUT! Kick my heels back and SHOUT! Throw my arms up and SHOUT..Etc."

"Neil deGrasse Tyson will no longer be hosting NOVA. Looks like they had to cut deGrasse."

"""Doc, you gotta help me, I think I'm a chicken!"" Doctor: ""How long have you felt this way?"" Man: ""Ever since I was an egg."""

"how do you tell the difference between an extroverted engineer and an introverted engineer? the extroverted engineer looks at *your* shoes."

"your mom is so stupid... She put gum up her ass so she can pop shit. A very old joke that for some reason makes me giggle every time..."

"I probably couldn't even keep a picture of a plant alive."

"So my son asked me where his sunglasses are. I said ""I don't know, where are my dadglasses?"""

"Someone please invent a service to grocery shop for you but also cook it into a meal and also the meal is pizza oh it's pizza delivery"