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Joke of the Day

"I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry."

"When I started doing stand-up, I didn't have a lot of my own material, so I used to steal Mitch Hedberg jokes I still do, but I used to too."

"I will die one day at a Del Taco, shot dead by a SWAT team after taking several hostages over what I feel is the meaning of extra cheese."

"How is an easily-offended person like a broken GPS? They always take things the wrong way."

"Whats worse than being adopted Being adopted twice."

"Just go ahead and arrest the psychopaths who still have egg avatars."

"What's the definition of macho? Jogging home from your vasectomy."

"I can swallow a rope and poop out a lasso I shit you knot."

"Relationships are all about finding someone that works opposite hours than you so you never have to see them."

"Have you heard , Donald Trump is having a sex change operation ? He is tired of pretending ... now he wants to identify himself as a real man."