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Joke of the Day

"I told a miscarriage joke to my mate yesterday but I couldn't deliver it right."

"Why was the policeman in bed? Because he was an undercover cop"

"Know what stops the Bern? Preparation H!"

"I told a waitress she was much prettier without glasses so she set down her tray of drinks."

"If your child builds a snow fort, by law, they have to move out and reside in it."

"""I wasn't that drunk!"" Dude, you told my mom you're no weather man, but she can expect a couple inches tonight."

"What's yellow and hurts when it gets in your eye? Bull dozer"

"angel: they seem to be doing well God: give them more diseases angel: is that really necess- God: and social anxiety and kill a gorilla"

"I wasn't going to have a cardiac transplant But then I had a change of heart"

"So I just gave birth to a butt baby [NSFW] Well, actually no, it came out in a bunch of pieces so I guess it was more of a butt abortion."