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Joke of the Day

"angel: they seem to be doing well God: give them more diseases angel: is that really necess- God: and social anxiety and kill a gorilla"

"And the bartender says, ""Sorry, we don't serve time travelers here."" A man walks into a bar."

"what idiot named it erectile dysfunction instead of ballzheimer's"

"Q: How do you make five pounds of fat look good? A: Put a nipple on it."

"My life long dream is to open a dominatrix theme Thai restaurant called Thai Me Up."

"I don't believe in beating my kids, so I make them wear a Justin Bieber shirt & crocs to school so the other kids will do it for me."

"What else did Lochte say after the truth came out? This did not go swimmingly at all"

"Q: How do you embarrass an archeologist? A: Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from."

"Well, it's Feb 6th 2012 and there's no meat flavored cigarettes. I guess that book of predictions I made in 5th grade was bullshit."

"3 drunk men walked into a bar, but another man came with them. He ducked."