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Joke of the Day

"I told my gay friend I could turn fruits into vegetables... He said ""prove it."" So I pushed him off the balcony."

"I hate Russian dolls... They're so full of themselves."

"What's an Irish Seven Course Dinner? A boiled potato and a six-pack of Guinness Stout."

"Someone asked me to stop singing wonderwall I said maybe"

"An anagram of Ellen Poe is Allen Poe.. Quoth the Reddit...nevermore"

"U2 donated that album without charging, and we hate it. That's pro bono and anti-Bono at the same time."

"Really cool thing about skateboards is you can take the wheels off and bash your skull in if you still use them in your forties."

"(Watching Liar Liar) Wife: If you couldn't lie for 24 hrs, how much longer would we be married? Me: Until the end of this movie."

"I like my women like I like my whisky... 22 years old and mixed with coke."

"Valve should be in charge of the UN... It's the only sure-fire way to prevent World War 3."