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Joke of the Day

"Really cool thing about skateboards is you can take the wheels off and bash your skull in if you still use them in your forties."

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"It's really hard to balance work, family, and not caring about anything."
"The only time a moth flies in a straight line is... while farting"
"Did you hear about the man with the five penises? His Condoms fit like a glove."
"Boy, pet stores don't like it when you ask, ""What is the most delicious animal you sell here?"""
"[Captain America, minutes after the love of his life's funeral] Damn her niece is hot"
"Did You Hear About the Man who was Arrested for Possessing NaCl and an Electrical Source? He was arrested for a salt and battery!"
"What do you call a camel with three humps? Pregnant."
"-i am going to hell for this ""That's a sexy little outfit you're wearing,"" I said. ""I bet you want my cock in you."" ""Dave,"" my wife said, ""do you know I can hear you on the baby monitor?"""
"I posted a joke via USPS... ...not sure if it was their fault or mine, but the delivery of the punchline was completely botched."
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