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Joke of the Day

"When my mom asked me to sponsor her Run for The Cure, I was surprised. I'd thought The Cure had done quite well for themselves."

"How do you flirt with a calligraphist? Say, ""You have pretty I's!"""

"What do you call a sleepwalking nun? A roamin' Catholic"

"It would just be mean to make a joke about the woman with lumber breast implants..... Wooden Tit"

"Don't let go of your dreams Press snooze"

"When I watch The Walking Dead I can't help but think those zombies are in way better shape than me."

"My favorite one liner ever!!! Last night I walked into a bar it hurt"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Cellar ! Cellar who ? Cellar. No I think she can be repaired !"

"Why did the farmer call his horse Baseball? Because it's covered with horsehide!"

"Cop: Lets go, boys, no meth in this house. *zoom to fish tank* Fish 1: *nods* Fish 2: [taps on pirate ship] Resume cooking, Lenny. *bubbles*"