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Joke of the Day
"Don't let go of your dreams Press snooze"
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"Best advice for men about women Never try to understand women. Women understand women and they hate each other."
"Cabin Fever... A man says to his wife, ""Can you tell me something that makes me angry and happy at the same time?"" She thinks about it and says, ""Sure. You got a bigger dick than your brother."""
"*eats pizza out of box in bed *falls asleep *wakes up next to leftover pizza Voila! Breakfast in bed!"
"Donald Trump has banned shredded cheese. He's going to make America grate again."
"""Mommy, Mommy! What happened to all the scabs that were on your arms?"" ""Shut up and eat your cornflakes."""
"What's brown and sounds like a bell? Dung!"
"When I find something in my purse on the first reach-in I feel like I should get some applause or something."
"Why do Bay Area gamers like Pier 39 Modern wharf air"
"BOSS TELLS ME I CAN KISS MY FERRETS AT WORK, BUT NO OPEN MOUTH. I PUNCH THE FLOOR SO HARD HIS SCREEN SAVER DEACTIVATES"