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Joke of the Day

"It'd be nice if the pre-requisite to being a politician in the United States of America didn't involve being a lying sack of shit."

"What kind of ideas do blind people get? Brailleant ones. Sauce: Am blind."

"Me and my Italian friend are opening a Chinese restaurant... It's called 2 Dum Wops"

"What do you call the mercury mine? Hg wells"

"What could Boston Marathon Bombers do that Hitler couldn't? End a race."

"CEO: It's got wheels Inventor: It's the best we could do CEO: You had 30 yrs I: CEO: Put ""may not hover"" on the box and get out of my sight"

"A duck walks into a bar... And the bartender says ""why is there a duck in my bar?"""

"Why is the alcoholic law student sad? Because he couldn't pass the bar."

"[Me]: What's a snowman's favorite drink? [Bartender]: idk [Me]: Brrrr-bon lol [Bartender]: ... [Me]: jk snowmen don't drink they aren't real"

"Q: How many Bill Gateses does it take to change a light bulb? A: One. He puts the bulb in and lets the world revolve around him."