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Joke of the Day

"What kind of ideas do blind people get? Brailleant ones. Sauce: Am blind."

"What is it about glow sticks that makes me want to dance in a field wearing fairy wings? If only I hadn't taken so many drugs I'd know this."

"A woman walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a double entendre, so he gave it to her."

"Do you know how many hydrogen bonds I can disrupt? (Chemistry pick-up line) Enough to break the ice, how's it going?"

"What state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota"

"Whats the difference between the psychiatrists and the patients at a mental hospital? The patients are the ones who eventually get better and get to go home."

"My girlfriend refused to make a porno with me.. saying there are enough vine stars already"

"Why don't you prescribe Viagra as an antidepressant? it only makes things harder."

"you can't believe it's not butter? buddy, almost everything is not butter"

"My friend has Tourettes. He doesn't have a bank account. He has a swear jar."