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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the black guy that jumped off of the Empire State Building Black lives splatter"

"Wife told me she wants to have sex in the back of the car... She asked me if I could drive :-( Credit to Legend Rodney Dangerfield"

"What do the official USGA rules state when... you and your opponent are looking for his ball, and he claims to have found it, but you know he is lying because you have it in your pocket?"

"It's that time of year again when I should really check in on my friends with pools or boats to see how they've been since last summer."

"They say make up sex is the best... Good thing, because all the sex I have is made up."

"I doubt vodka has all the answers But it's worth a shot."

"Under Bush we had 3 Shrek movies. Under Obama we had 1. Can we really trust a president whose #1 goal was to bring down the Shrek franchise?"

"""These diet pills better work,"" I say to myself as I wash them down with a chocolate milkshake."

"What did one tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, They're both stuck up cunts!"

"Why did America remove the ""u"" from color? Because fuck u that's why"