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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the black guy that jumped off of the Empire State Building Black lives splatter"

"[job interview] HR: Says here you're very good at multi-tasking *me taking a selfie & spinning in chair HR: *whispering ""wow he's good"""

"So I walked into the pharmacy the other day... because I needed to grab some condoms. As I was checking out, the clerk asked, ""do you need a bag for that?"" I replied, ""Nah, she's not that ugly."""

"How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb ? Juan"

"Teacher: I wish you'd pay a little attention, David. David: I'm paying as little as I can, teacher."

"People call me lazy because I sleep 13 hours a day But to be fair, Jesus slept for three days straight and that started a religion."

"Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I'm making... ...then they call me ugly and poor."

"I'm pretty sure that while girls are under anesthesia getting breast implants the doctors secretly do brain explants."

"What's the most privileged fish? A Great White shark."

"Why can't a W-boson get a girlfriend? He can't even last a femtosecond!"