10940

Joke of the Day

"Wife told me she wants to have sex in the back of the car... She asked me if I could drive :-( Credit to Legend Rodney Dangerfield"

"I stopped going to the beach because people kept mistaking me for a corpse and poking me with sticks"

"What's the best thing about a penis? Think long and hard before you answer this one."

"Cop: can u describe your attacker Me: super aggressive, with a big nose & powerful arms Cop: u just described a seagull Me: he took my chips"

"What's Whitney Houston's favorite type of coordination? HAAAAAAND EYEEEEEEEEEE"

"Why would I go to a high school reunion? I have Facebook, I already know who got fat."

"What did the neckbeard wizard use to find his way around Hogwarts? M'rauders Map"

"Teacher to russian student: Boris, beware, I have eyes in my back! russian student: What Are you braging about? I came from Chernobyl, I had a tail!"

"If I ever win the lottery, I'm going to share it with everyone. Not the money, just going to let you know that I've won."

"I'm never marrying anyone else that I find on craigslist."