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Joke of the Day

"People will hate you, rate you, break you, and shake you. How strong you stand is what makes you.("",)"

"If a hungry shark is after you what should you feed it? Jawbreakers!"

"""You promise you didn't get me bees again"" [me from a distance] just open it"

"What is Bill Clintons favorite instrument to play? His Whore-Monica"

"I never sign anything until I pretend to read it first.."

"Trump's wives were immigrants. Proving again that immigrants will do jobs Americans won't."

"Jesus is a really bad WoW player... ...When he dies it takes 3 days to resurrect him."

"Did you hear about the terrorist who was sent to blow up a car? Well, he burned his lips on the exhaust pipe."

"I'm actually not funny. I'm just really mean and people think I'm joking."

"Did you hear about the pizza cook who died in the pizza oven explosion? They had to peel him off the ceiling."