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Joke of the Day

"What is Bill Clintons favorite instrument to play? His Whore-Monica"

"What is Marios favorite type of pants? Denim Denim Denim"

"Q: What did the duck say when she bought some lipstick? A: Put it on my bill."

"What's the difference between a shrimp with big tits and a bus station full of old people? One's a busty crustacean and the other's a crusty bus station!"

"Why did the boy drop his icecream? He was hit by a truck."

"I'll never be friends with the girl who brings a bottle of sparkling water to the gym."

"Who do you think was smarter, Jesus or Buddha? I mean, just in terms of not letting themselves get crucified. *-Anthony Jeselnik, Shakespeare*"

"I got 6 numbers at the bar last night... One more and it would have been a complete telephone number. (special thanks to Kevin Malone)"

"Wears a black shirt to a first dates house to see if shes lying about having cats"

"What does the nationalist sing at Christmas? Jingo Bells."