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Joke of the Day

"Time to ban High Capacity Assault Vehicles? how else could we stop this?"

"A White Guy. If a white guy is surrounded by 3 black guys, he's getting robbed. 30 black guys, he's a football coach. 300 black guys he's a prison guard."

"Drank orange juice right after brushing my teeth so I think I know what death feels like."

"What's the best way to keep water from running? Don't pay the water bill."

"Procrastination is like masturbation... ... it feels good while you're doing it, but you're only fucking yourself."

"ADDING BLONDE Q: Why couldn't the blonde add 10 and seven on a calculator? A: She couldn't find the 10 key."

"I couldn't figure out how to use my seatbelt.. Then it clicked."

"Why is K-9 another term for a dog? Because if it was a cat, it would be a K-10."

"Sergeant Miller! Yes sir? I didn't see you at the camouflage training yesterday! Thank you sir!"

"What's grey and comes in quarts? [NSFW] Elephants."