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Joke of the Day

"Sergeant Miller! Yes sir? I didn't see you at the camouflage training yesterday! Thank you sir!"

"Did you hear about the guy who accidently used super glue instead of lube while having sex? He's now a man trapped in a woman's body.."

"[The Price Is Right] Bob Barker: what do you think the price of this washing machine is Me:*lips firmly pressed to mic* Right"

"90% of your body is water. 6% is delusion. 4% is lies."

"Food Network makes me feel like a perv: Beat it It's not moist enough My wrist is tired Look how thick it's getting It's all about flavor"

"My son swallowed several coins the other day. I've definitely seen some change in him."

"What do you call an ex-Muslim? A Waslim"

"Three Mexicans walk into a bar."

"I wish I were an octopus so that the answer to all of my problems would be, 'change color and escape in a cloud of ink'"

"Statistically, 9 out of 10 people... ...repost."