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Joke of the Day

"He told me I was the ""bee's knees"". I believe I merit being compared to something more like a lemur's femur. Who doesn't love Zoboomafoo?"

"Did you know? If you laid out all of your veins and arteries... ...you would die."

"What should have tipped off the airline ticket sellers on 9/11? When the terrorists asked for anything cheaper than one-way."

"[ouija board] ""Spirits are u there? I A M H E R E. Y O U W A N N A T A L K? Y O U W A N N A H A N G O U T? [squints] ""A needy board?"""

"Q: What does Santa say when he goes fox hunting? A: Tally hohoho!"

"What shoes did the pedophile wear? White vans hah"

"I bought a muzzle for my pet duck. Nothing flashy, but it fits the bill."

"How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? ""Oh sure, just because I'm a woman means I have to do everything around here. And let me tell you..."""

"Who's Zombies greatest enemy? Necrophiliacs"

"Kid: Hey, Mum! What's an orgasm? Mom: I don't know dear, ask your father."