176814

Joke of the Day

"wife: YOU changed the sheets?! [flashback to me eating nachos in bed after she told me not to and getting cheese everywhere] me: Surprise!"

"I would like to apologize to all my American Friends for the Power Blackout in India. Electricity is now restored and your Customer Service & Tech Support is now up & running."

"Mispronouncing French phrases can be a real social fox piss."

"What kind of meat does a priest eat? Nun. (this one is probably a little better spoken)"

"Why did the dragon go to jail for farting? Arse-on. **Cough Cough** I'll see my way out."

"Crappy wordplay jokes... ...the cruelest form of punishment. I'll let myself out now."

"Guy walks up to his wife with a duck under his arm... ""Honey. This is the pig I've been fucking for the last ten years."" ""That's not a pig, it's a duck!"" ""I was talking to the duck."""

"[Sunday] God: Finally a day of rest. I could really use a chicken sandwich and a milkshake. *walks up to Chick-fil-A* OH COME ON!!"

"Boomerangs can be quite dangerous if you've got alzheimers."

"How do you sabotage a space mission ? Send Matt Damon"