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Joke of the Day

"How can you tell Sofia Vergara's children on the playground? They're the ones with stretch marks on their lips."

"Pigs in a blanket Hey, isn't that the same as an undercover cop?"

"Did you hear about the whores who ran a bakery? Yeah. Everything there was hoe-made."

"I thought this hot Egyptian chick was hitting on me but she was just trying to lure me into a pyramid scheme. :("

"After 50 years of failed embargoes and isolation the US has recently unleashed its most obnoxious weapon on Cuba to date... The American tourist!"

"How do Asians see the world? In widescreen."

"My dad dropped his meth pipe. Now he has a crack pipe."

"Just found out my wife has cooties. I'm headed to the clinic to get tested. So many emotions right now"""

"How do you feel when you don't have coffee? Depresso."

"*gives ex wife's next door neighbour a drum kit for Christmas*"