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Joke of the Day

"How do you feel when you don't have coffee? Depresso."

"How do you defeat your enemies? Chop off their feet."

"If State Farm were such a good neighbor they'd come over and pick up all the dog shit in my yard."

"If your mom still washes your underwear, you're not allowed to have an opinion about anything."

"16 yr old nephew bought me a Miley Cyrus CD. He said ""Listen to it, it'll change your mind. It did change my mind. I used to like my nephew."

"In bio practical: Examiner:Tell me the name of this bird by seeing it's legs only? Sardar:I don't know. Examiner:You failed, what's your name? Sardar:See my legs & tell my name"

"I got arrested today for masturbating in public My lawyer then told me that we'd beat this together."

"What do you call a shape that's always worried? A paranoid. (Wooo maths jokes)"

"If I had a dollar for every person over 40 that told me my generation sucks I could afford a house in the economy they ruined."

"Why do doctor's offices take your blood pressure AFTER weighing you? Of course it's going to be high then."