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Joke of the Day

"I'm planning on ringing the new year in with a kiss ... whether my dog likes it or not."

"I will tell you a racist mexican joke in three, two, Juan..."

"The problem with being in the center of attention is that half of it is always behind your back."

"One milli-Helen: The amount of beauty required to launch a single ship."

"When I was going into surgery my dad said ""Good luck w/ your surgery"" and I said ""you too"" so now my dad has to get surgery too, he's pissed"

"How many redditors does it take to screw in a light bulb? Only one, but an extra 15 to repost."

"Canada plans on removing the polar bear from the Tonnie. And replace it with two gay deer, it's called two fucking bucks."

"I got like 30 followers off a tweet about free porn sites, to which I say free credit report lose weight free penis enlargement."

"What happened to Casper the friendly ghost after his parents got divorced? His mom got soul custody."

"How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb? One. We are efficient and don't have humor."