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Joke of the Day

"When I was going into surgery my dad said ""Good luck w/ your surgery"" and I said ""you too"" so now my dad has to get surgery too, he's pissed"

"The bright side of getting attacked by a Cyclops is only having to use half the pepper spray."

"Did you hear they're making an Indiana Jones 5? How can they do that?! They haven't released a fourth!"

"I can throw rocks further than catapults. I mean, have you ever *tried* throwing a catapult?"

"I just want to thank you for explaining that Geico ad to me. It means a great deal."

"What do you call a gay man on roller skates? Rollaids"

"Q: What is the difference between a banjo and an anchor? A: You tie a rope to an anchor before you throw it overboard."

"So I got myself a Cuban girlfriend... She is my Guantanamo bae."

"What?s green and fluffy and comes from mars? A martian-mellow"

"How do you keep an Idiot occupied? [Click here to find out]( http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1v1wqm/how_do_you_keep_an_idiot_occupied/)"