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Joke of the Day

"I can always tell which waiters are just in it to make money and which are in it for the love of grossly exaggerating how hot plates are."

"Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister? Because he never pays his debts"

"A Short Offensive and Original Joke What did the man reply to his friend that found a good paying job taking care of mentally challenged people? Answer: Oh, so it has its ups and downs."

"Best thing about being a professional bagpiper is.. We get the best blow jobs."

"If you can't beat them What's the point of having children?"

"[Serious] Can we stop making bomb jokes? Edit: Wow, this really blew up! Edit 2: Feeling bombastic! Thanks for the gold!"

"How did ""El Chapo"" escape prison? Joaquin."

"If you're anxious and you know it...Clasp your hands."

"Me: Compassion is my compass. Him: We've been lost for 3 days and you gave your coat to a bear that looked cold."

"A farmer won a million dollars playing the lottery, he was really excited looking at his bank account... ...it now showed zero dollars."