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Joke of the Day
"Best thing about being a professional bagpiper is.. We get the best blow jobs."
Next Joke
"An englishman, a welshman and a scotsman walk into a pub... ""I'm off"" says the scotsman, and leaves."
"If you're hitting the gas every time she tries to open the passenger side door, remember, the 8th time is always the funniest."
"She sent me a text saying she wearing something special for me... but every time I ask her what, she says ~ Nothing."
"We need a channel that plays kitten videos. All kittens, all the time. When shit gets intense, turn on the kittens. #kittenchannel"
"::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: I'm terribly sorry. I suffer from colon cancer."
"What's the capital of Greece? Athens"
"[2nd time at girls house] ""where's your dog?"" Oh he isn't mine. I was dog sitting [makes text alert sound w mouth] ""Its work. I gotta go"""
"Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar The bartender asked, ""why the long face?"""
"I consider Words with Friends a work-related activity because it helps me take my mind off being stuck in this shithole."