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Joke of the Day

"A farmer won a million dollars playing the lottery, he was really excited looking at his bank account... ...it now showed zero dollars."

"Who are your favorite underground artists?? Mine are Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston"

"I'm voting my fridge for president. Because America needs to chill the fuck out."

"Why did Lionel go to the medical store? because it was pharmacy."

"Im going to change my name on Facebook to ""Benefits"", so that when you add me it will say, ""You are now friends with benefits"""

"""I'm sure if I show my gf my Twitter, she'll understand it's just for fun."" Said a bunch of now single guys."

"Hey baby, you must be from Ireland because when I look at you, my penis is Dublin"

"How do you circumcise a whale? Fore-skin divers!"

"Why can't you checkmate a christian? Because they're all pawns and their king doesn't exist."

"The past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense."