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Joke of the Day
"If I were a Greek philosopher, my name would be Mediocrites."
Next Joke
"Waiter waiter does the pianist play requests? Yes sir. Then ask him to play tiddlywinks until I've finished my meal."
"I have never seen the movie Titanic and I never plan to because a friend spoiled the ending for me The boat sinks. Credit to u/Donkey__Xote for this beautiful comment in an r/AskReddit thread"
"What do you call a fake noodle? an IMPASTA"
"There's not a day that goes by where I don't think about that Backstreet Boy asking his pals, ""am I sexual?"" & they're like, ""yeah."""
"How much does freedom weigh? A WashingTon."
"Knock Knock Who's there... Little Boy Blue... Little Boy Blue Who... Michael Jackson..."
"Doctor gets a call...My husband just swallowed aspirin By mistake, what should I do? Doctor: give him some headache now! It will help!"
"IAMA convicted murderer who escaped last week from an upstate New York prison currently on the run somewhere in North America. AMA!"
"A man purchases a kitten, which he's having trouble house breaking. What does his friend say when he comes to visit? Your house is quite the cat-ass-trophy."