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Joke of the Day

"[at therapist] I don't know, sometimes I just feel invisible Therapist: WHO SAID THAT?!?"

"Microsoft Word just suggested that I change ""you're"" to ""you is"" so yes, I am very very afraid of what the future of education holds."

"I just hit my snooze button so much it's probably pregnant."

"Average jokes don't end how you think they... Median"

"People with stick figure families on their car: Oh look how cute we are! Criminals: I'll need 3 rolls of duct tape."

"I'm just like Batman I have to get out of bed at night quite often."

"Prank Idea For The Ladies: Swallow a plastic dinosaur, then make an appointment to get an ultrasound."

"People keep comparing the election to Empire Strikes Back or Revenge Of The Sith... Personally I would have gone with The Star Wars Christmas Special"

"I tried making a chemistry joke today... ... But all the good element jokes Argon"

"Why do guys not like to eat pussy first thing in the morning? Because, you know what it's like to open up a grilled cheese sandwich!"