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Joke of the Day

"Prank Idea For The Ladies: Swallow a plastic dinosaur, then make an appointment to get an ultrasound."

"What has 125 teeth and prevents a savage beast from escaping? My zipper."

"When an IT person pisses me off I just wait until 4:45pm to crash my computer."

"I'm quitting drinking for good. Now I drink for evil."

"I'd like to thank my exs for encouraging me to learn about cars. Like how to cut the break lines, hoses, or discreetly slash a tire."

"Cat with 16 lives There was a cat with 16 lives. It was run over by a 4x4 and it died."

"A gynecologist and a pizza delivery man. What do they have in common ? -Both of them can sniff ""the goods"" but no one can touch !"

"Why are trumpets more expensive than clarinets? Brass tax"

"What's the difference between a chair and an asshole? You are not a chair..."

"I'd like to say something nice about you as it's your birthday. Why don't you? Because I can't think of a single thing to say!"