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Joke of the Day

"People with stick figure families on their car: Oh look how cute we are! Criminals: I'll need 3 rolls of duct tape."

"Many Americans would be surprised to know that we Europeans also have shooting ranges They're called schools and children are sent there to learn"

"My 1 year old doesn't laugh when I fart. I can only hope his sense of humor grows more sophisticated with time..."

"DOES HOLY WATER WORK ON OBNOXIOUS CHILDREN"

"What do you call someone with no body and a nose? Nobody knows"

"I'm no sadist. Some of my best friends are sad."

"It irks me when my wife doesn't fold my shirts the way I like. It irks her when I do a bunch of drugs & destroy our family. Potato Po-tah-to"

"Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were."

"Why don't Mexicans cross the border in groups of three? Because the sign says no trespassing!"

"It's better to have loved and lost than to notice a typo after you've already hit ""send."""