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Joke of the Day

"If you get in the mood to do some work, someone will always wake you up."

"If I pour superglue into a non-stick frying pan, somebody is going to be wrong, right?"

"What is black, white, and red all over? A Communist Propaganda film from the 1930s."

"My 5/o just said ""That's Classic!!"" WTF is classic to a 5 y/o? Blues Clues??"

"How do telegraph operators apologize? Remorse code"

"At what time does Sean Connery arrive at The Wimbledon? Tenish..."

"I would make a joke about Mexicans... ...but that would be crossing the border"

"What does the Queen put on her toast? Maamilade! Tada....... anyone? Anyone? I'll get my coat"

"On a walk, my son saw a pay phone asked what it was. I made him look it up on his Blackberry."

"*Texts* Can I come over bae? I need you. <3 *Gets reply text* DUDE, STOP CALLING ME THAT. I'M YOUR DEALER NOT YOUR BAE. BRING CA$H!"