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Joke of the Day

"On a walk, my son saw a pay phone asked what it was. I made him look it up on his Blackberry."

"Why is the sky blue? Son: Dad..Why is the sky blue? Dad: Because if it was green, we wouldn't know where to stop mowing the lawn."

"The wike asks his husband: Honey, what do you prefer? A beautiful woman or an intelligent woman? Neither one, you know I just like you"

"Baptisms were invented by a guy who had to explain why he was caught trying to drown a baby."

"Hippies glare at me when I use plastic bags at the market. I wouldn't need to if this pack of gum had some handles."

"Deep After stewing in his emotions, emo veg comes to the conclusion that the root of the world's problems is that people don't seem to carrot all."

"Did you hear about the French boat with five holes in it? It cinq!"

"I applied for a loan from the U.S. Government, but was turned down because I had a legitimate repayment plan"

"My friend was raped by a teenager mutant ninja turtle. He wasn't wearing a mask, so we don't know which one did it."

"According to Facebook, Sept. 11th is about posting as many pictures of crying bald eagles obscured by an American flag as you can."