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Joke of the Day

"Look iPhone, if I wanted to be constantly be corrected today, I would have stayed home with my wife"

"*walks up to girl working on her laptop in a cafe* So you into computers?"

"Behind every entitled shit-head kid is a parent who cuts the crusts off their sandwiches."

"What's the difference between feminists and hockey players? Hockey players shower after 3 periods."

"Lizzie Borden had a couple of really good lifehacks."

"(Writing in food journal) me: for lunch I had sa......... trainer: (interrupting) salad. awesome. me: sake."

"What did the father buffalo say when his son went off to college? ""Bison."""

"Only a fraction of you will understand That there is a fine line between a numerator and a denominator. Took from a facebook page"

"diseases you get after marriage onegina"

"What's the difference between your mom and a washing machine? If I dump a load in a washing machine it doesn't follow me around for the next few weeks."